


Everyone, meet my wife!

by SnowNoire (MiniNoire)



Category: Frozen (Disney Movies), Guardians of Childhood & Related Fandoms, Guardians of Childhood - William Joyce, Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, F/M, Humor, Jack being ridiculous, Modern, there might be innuendos?, they basically are characters of live action version of their movies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:35:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24910045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiniNoire/pseuds/SnowNoire
Summary: Jack persuaded Elsa to take him to her movie's premiere. Elsa knew idiocy was bound to follow.
Relationships: Elsa (Disney)/Jack Frost (Guardians of Childhood)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 50





	Everyone, meet my wife!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GoldenCrusader](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoldenCrusader/gifts), [Jelsa's Cupid](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Jelsa%27s+Cupid).



> Kudos to RelentlessCrusader and VFatale on Jhaven discord, whose discussions and art inspired the fic!  
> Thanks to Fangirl DC for beta reading! ^ ^

“I promise I will behave!” the man pleaded, getting down on his knees.

“A no is a no, Jack,” the woman said. Her voice was stern.

“But Elsa—” Jack started to speak, only to be interrupted by his wife.

“Jack, you do know that knowing you for six years and being with you for three has made me know about you quite a lot?” Elsa said, her attention focused on the mirror as she put on her diamond earrings.

“Correction: you know me completely, Snowflake,” Jack said with a soft smile, before it turned into a smug grin, “In fact, both emotionally and physically, right?” 

She nearly impaled her earlobes at the sight of her husband wiggling his eyebrows in a suggestive manner. Turning around in her seat, Elsa gave the idiot her best icy glare that she could muster.

Had it been a scene from the movie, the director would surely have opted for turning Jack into a beautiful ice statue.

The man shrugged nonchalantly, pulling off his best _I am innocent_ look as he raised his hands in mock surrender.

“I was just stating the obvious.”

She narrowed her eyes, “Was the innuendo really necessary?”

Giving her his most charming smile, Jack sauntered over to his wife, who huffed and focused her attention back on perfecting her makeup.

“My decision is final— you are NOT going to the premier,” Elsa said in a commanding tone.

“Aww come on, you are Queen Elsa of Arendelle for Disney. Don’t use that tone on me,” Jack said in a mocking tone.

Looking at his reflection in the mirror, Elsa raised a perfectly-shaped eyebrow at him. “So, I am not a Queen to you, hmm?”

“Nope,” came the quick reply.

She put on the mask of impassivity, her mouth pressed into a thin line.

Jack held her by the shoulders, placing his chin on the crook of her neck as he stared deep into her reflection, “For me, you are a Goddess, Elsa.”

Elsa immediately reached for the blush— she had applied the rosy tint to her cheeks a bit too much.

“Aww, did my Snowflake just blush?” Jack said in a low voice, nuzzling her neck a bit. It took all of Elsa’s self determination to not cave in. But Jack just knew how to make her thoughts go off the track. Giving in, she leaned into his touch, sighing in delight.

As his arms snaked around her waist, Elsa couldn’t help but bite her lower lip, tilting her neck a little to give her husband more access. Placing a butterfly kiss on her collarbone, Jack looked in the mirror. Elsa’s reflection stared back, her eyes half-lidded.

In a low voice, Jack asked, “You like it, Els?”

There was a hum of approval.

Placing another kiss on her neck, Jack whispered against her skin, “Take me with you to the premiere and I promise you will be liking this _even more_.”

Elsa immediately straightened and pushed the dork off herself. “Nice trick, Jackson,” she said in a biting voice, causing the silver-haired man to gulp, “but a no is a no.”

“But Elsa—”

She didn’t pay him any attention, turning back to her vanity to smoothen her platinum-blonde locks.

Jack moved forward, a look of exasperation clear on his face, “Hey, Elsa! You are a Goddess and I am your devotee!”

“You told me the same thing five minutes ago, Jack. And I assure you, my memory’s quite strong,” Elsa said dismissively as she put a few snowflake clips in her hair.

“A Goddess never refuses her devotee,” Jack pointed out, and Elsa’s reflection smirked at him.

“Well, please the Goddess first. Make some offerings.”

The man gaped like a fish, looking at his beautiful wife in shock. “Bu-but I offered my entire self to you! Body, heart, soul, everything!”

“Meh.” Elsa waved a dismissive hand, causing Jack to stagger back as if he had been punched in the gut.

“Meh? **_MEH?!_ **” Jack nearly shouted, putting a hand on his heart, “I am just ‘meh’ to you now, Snowflake? You wound my poor heart! Apologise!”

“Apologise?” Elsa spoke in a questioning voice, raising an eyebrow at Jack’s reflection, “Why should I apologise? You are an old man, right?”

“A-A **_what?!_ **” Jack squeaked out, his cobalt blue eyes nearly bulging in shock.

“Old man,” Elsa spoke, as if talking about weather. She turned her attention back to getting ready, smoothing down her locks and checking if the makeup was intact and impeccable. “Your white hair is a clear indication of it, right Jack? Plus, they call you ‘Old Man Winter’, right?”

“But-but that’s a screen name!” the man exclaimed. “That’s a nickname Aster gave me, just like I call him Kangaroo! Doesn’t mean he _actually_ is a kangaroo! Plus, you yourself loved this white hair when I dyed it for the film shooting and—”

“Nada Nada Nada,” Elsa sing-songed, interrupting him as she got up from the vanity, brushing off non-existent dust from her dress. The Fifth Spirit dress she was supposed to wear at the movie premiere. 

“Jack, you are Old Man Winter from the film, let’s accept it.”

“And you really are the Snow Queen from the film,” he grumbled.

“Correction: A Snow Queen loved by all. One who can create beautiful ice structures in the blink of an eye.”

“Hey! Mind you, I was the first ice-person in the industry. I brought the concept of icy magic to life. You were created as a female counterpart to me. Plus, girls tend to have better designing skills than boys. But it DOESN’T MEAN—” Jack raised a finger, silencing his wife before she could speak, “—that I cannot create things from frost. Mind you, frost is my surname, babe. And yours too.”

Elsa rolled her eyes at the wink he gave her. Picking up her purse, she walked towards the front door, all the while talking in a sing-song voice, “Well, hope you love your stay at home, Jack~~”

The man rushed forward and grabbed the cape of her dress, effectively stopping her, “Els, please, take me too.”

“Only if you offer me a good deal,” she replied, the regality in her tone irritating Jack a bit.

“Diamond necklace?”

“I have two.”

“Trip to London and Paris?”

“Can go there myself if I wish.”

“A cruise on the Titanic?”

“It is already under the sea.”

“A living snowman?”

“We both know that’s impossible in real life, Jack.”

“A one-night stand with anyone you wis— **_OOF!_ **”

“ **_JACK!!_ **” Elsa screamed, her cheeks crimson. “That’s it! You don’t have any good deals, I am going!”

“Hey wait!” He rushed forward, grabbing the door before she could shut it, “I guess I have the right offer.”

* * *

A black limousine pulled up in front of the red carpet. The door opened and a silvery-haired man in black suit rushed out, signalling to someone inside to stay there.

The man moved to the red carpet, signalling all the cameras and news reporters to go back. Once this was done, he signalled for the person inside to come out.

A silver sandal slipped out of the limousine and hit the red carpet. It’s counterpart, as beautiful and wintry as the first, followed it. The owner of the shoes, tall and beautiful and regal, stood up to her glamorous height. The main lead of Frozen 2, the Snow Queen Elsa, had arrived.

She moved gracefully down the red carpet, her silvery Fifth Spirit dress glowing ethereally, as if she had been dressed in moonlight itself. The gems on her dress caught the bright lights, glimmering a beautiful shade of pink and blue, giving the woman the true appearance of a Goddess. Her capelet, dusted with snowflakes and frosty patterns, billowed behind her, completing her regal look. With the snowflakes in her platinum blonde locks and her alert, cerulean bluebells, she truly looked like the regal and composed Snow Queen. 

Stopping in the middle of the red carpet, Elsa posed for the cameras, waiting for the photoshoot to begin. However, no camera lights flashed.

Confused, the blonde looked around, only for her gaze to be caught by the sight of the silvery-haired man from earlier sitting on a knee in front of her, his hands spread out in her direction and his face directed towards an audience of news reporters who were equally stumped as her.

“Everyone, meet my wife, the gorgeous, beautiful, heavenly actress of the film, the real Snow Queen of Arendelle, Elsa Winters Frost!”

Numerous pairs of eyes blinked stupidly, darting from the flustered actress to the man who sat in front of her, presenting her.

“Honey,” Elsa spoke in a low tone, her teeth gritted as she forced a smile for the audience, “you are embarrassing me.”

But apparently he didn’t listen to her. “What are you waiting for, fellas? Quick! Take photos before we have to go in!”

As if suddenly broken out of their stupor, the cameramen hurriedly grabbed their cameras and started getting into positions. Elsa gave a tight smile and a few tiny waves as lights flashed and photographs were taken.

_She was so going to freeze Jack in the refrigerator today. Or maybe throw him from the North Mountain to test his so-called flying skills._

As Jack got up and dusted himself, Elsa sighed and spoke in a low tone as she massaged the bridge of her nose, “Remind me why I brought you here again, Jack? I was quite opposed to the idea, wasn’t I?”

“Come on Snowflake,” he winked at her (how did he even have the audacity to wink at her after all this?) before continuing, “You do know all your workmates and your entire franchise loves me, right?”

“You mean they love seeing us together?” Elsa asked.

“Yeah same same, but come on! We got to meet the producer soon!” Jack nudged her subtly in the direction of the theatre.

“Wasn’t the sight here enough that you need to beg them for a crossover movie?” Elsa said, her voice a bit terse.

“C’mon Els, I am getting you unlimited Chocolate Sundae at McDonald’s for a full year! Let me have this day to myself please?” Jack said, pulling up the baby doll eyes.

Elsa sighed again. “Remind me never to get into a deal with you ever again,” she said in a slightly irritated tone, marching towards the theatre.

Jack followed her, but before they entered the hall, turned to the audience outside. He shouted out to them before a silver arm grabbed him by the collar and dragged him inside.

“ **_Applaud for the Queen or you all are getting your windows pelted by snowballs tomorrow!_ ** ”  
  


* * *

**Author's Note:**

> You can see the [ art ](https://jelsahaven.tumblr.com/post/621898598374932480/everyone-meet-my-wife) here!


End file.
